Improving your skills as a gracious host? Life Kit offers some insightful suggestions.
According to Elaine Swann, an etiquette expert and the founder of The Swann School of Protocol, being a desirable house guest is about making others feel comfortable rather than following strict rules. Swann's guidance focuses on simple, thoughtful gestures that show respect and consideration for the host's home and effort.
Making Guests Feel Welcome
Swann emphasises the importance of making guests feel genuinely welcome. For guests, this translates into reciprocating with gratitude and respect for the host’s home and preparations. A warm and gracious attitude goes a long way in setting the tone for a pleasant stay.
Preparation and Thoughtfulness
Preparation and thoughtfulness are key aspects of being a good house guest. Bringing a small gift or thank-you note, keeping the guest space tidy, and respecting household routines or preferences are all ways to show consideration.
Being Considerate of the Atmosphere
Adapting to the host's social flow, engaging warmly with others, and avoiding behaviours that would add stress or extra work for the host are essential in being a mindful guest. Swann advises considering the size of one's party, the age or bedtime of any children, and the types of gadgets and gear that may impact the host’s routine when planning a visit.
Mindful Communication and Actions
Expressing thanks both during the visit and after, and refraining from overextending the visit or imposing on the host’s schedule are important aspects of mindful communication and actions. Swann also recommends discussing visit details with the host to find what works best and what doesn't.
Other Practical Tips
Offering to treat the host to a meal is a way to contribute to the household. When inviting oneself to stay, it's important to give the host plenty of time to prepare, ideally at least three to four weeks in advance. Leaving on a high note includes being on time when leaving and following up with a thank you. Being mindful of one's footprint as a guest involves being tidy and doing dishes.
Swann also suggests that a small thank-you gift for the host is essential, but it's okay to arrive empty-handed if necessary. Finally, it's important to return the favour by inviting the host to your home for the next get-together.
By following these timeless hospitality principles, the experience becomes an enjoyable and positive one for both guest and host, transforming hospitality into a genuine exchange of goodwill rather than a burden. This guidance draws from contemporary and vintage etiquette perspectives highlighted by experts like Michael Mitchell and Brad Ramsey, as well as NPR Life Kit's etiquette advice for house guests who want to be warmly welcomed back.
[1] Michael Mitchell and Brad Ramsey, "Etiquette for Modern Living: The Essential Guide to Contemporary Manners" [5] NPR Life Kit, "How to be a good house guest"
Being a desirable house guest, as advocated by Elaine Swann, involves adapting one's lifestyle to respect the host's home-and-garden and relationships by being mindful of the surroundings and social atmosphere. This includes engaging warmly with others, being considerate of household routines, and expressing gratitude through small gifts or thank-you notes.
