Writer Hala Alyan, of Palestinian origin, shares intimate journey of discovering home and motherhood in her latest memoir
In her debut memoir, "I'll Tell You When I'm Home," author Hala Alyan shares a profound piece of advice that resonates deeply - "Don't exile anything." Alyan, a psychologist and author of two novels and five poetry collections, delves into her family's exile from Gaza, Kuwait, and Lebanon due to force or war.
The memoir, copyrighted by NPR in 2025, is a poignant exploration of displacement and identity. Alyan found the surrogacy process to be a metaphor for exile and displacement, as she felt locked out of the pregnancy experience while being grateful it was still happening. This emotional journey is beautifully captured in the book, which ends with the birth of her daughter, Leila.
Alyan wrote a passage for Leila, advising her not to exile anything and to turn her attention to all that awakens her love. This phrase carries significant weight, urging readers to embrace all parts of their experience and identity rather than rejecting or banishing difficult emotions, memories, or aspects of themselves.
Alyan's calm demeanour during this journey was noted by her close friends, who described her as the most calm and unanxious parent they had seen. Despite years of infertility, Alyan made the decision to seek surrogacy after a difficult miscarriage, impulsively emailing a surrogacy agency. The actual experience of Leila's birth was different from what Alyan had rehearsed in her mind for years, but she found it unexpected and beautiful.
The broadcast version of Alyan's story was produced by Mansee Khurana, while the digital version was edited by Olivia Hampton. The memoir offers a powerful testament to Alyan's resilience and her ability to find love and home amidst displacement and exile. Alyan, a few years into parenting, describes herself as shockingly laid back and more trusting than before Leila's arrival.
In a world where we often feel the pressure to compartmentalise and suppress our emotions, Alyan's memoir serves as a reminder to embrace our experiences fully, to acknowledge and accept all parts of our lives, and to find home in ourselves and our loved ones.
- For personal growth and self-development, readers might benefit from Alyan's memoir, "I'll Tell You When I'm Home", as it encourages a balanced lifestyle by advocating the acceptance of all aspects of one's experience and identity.
- In the realm of home-and-garden books, Alyan's memoir stands out as it delves into the concept of finding a metaphorical home within oneself, despite external displacement and exile.
- Amidst a wide selection of entertainment, Alyan's memoir offers a compelling narrative that profoundly explores the themes of identity, displacement, and the transformation of difficult experiences into opportunities for personal growth.
